How many times do we gotta fall..

There's this story about this girl-
Day 1- She's walking down a street, falls in a hole- not her fault.
Day 2- She's walking down the same street, falls in the hole again- still not her fault.
Day 3- She's walking down the same street- sees the hole- falls in- her fault.
Day 4- Same street- walks around the hole.
Day 5- She's walks down a different street.

I feel like I've been between day 2 and day 3 for way to long. How do I learn, or even get to the point of walking down a different street?

Vent- I hate fake ass losers... ok, fake ass people. And as genuine as he seems, he constantly shows his fake ass side... and my problem- I care to much. How, when will I stop?

I feel like I don't even know what to say anymore. I feel at such a loss. Frustrated. Completely and utterly confused. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to feel... I know how I feel... kinda, but don't know how to change that.

I wanna be whole again. I wanna be that girl I was before him. I've been trying so long- to long, to find her. I'm starting to wonder if she's gone for good.

I feel like such a loner these days. I've never truly been close to more than a handful of people, but that handful was always around- always there. Everyone is spread out these days. We are all in different states and no one has time for their phone, text, messages, etc. Well they kinda do yet their answers are more shallow than they used to be. It's hard. And the one friend who is near doesn't have time to hang out anymore. I think this is another reason I feel so lost, so... I don't know. I don't talk to anyone about anything anymore... I tried but no one has time, they have their own problems to deal with. Sigh.

I get it, I do... it's just... I don't know. I don't know. Guess thats my favorite phrase. I'm tired of it. Tired of not knowing. Tired of being tired. Wanna be beyond this rut I've been in for over a year. I don't know what the next phase of my life is suppose to be or who with, what I'm suppose to do, where I'm suppose to go. I'm not used to not knowing...

Guess I can only say "I don't know" so many times... and that is where I'm stuck and have been for way to long.