Broken Promises

She says "I cant believe you came all this way to find me"
He says "I will always find you."

Everything I ever dreamed or wanted a guy to say to me... two did... but never fulfilled.

One was a best friend and everyone thought we were or were going to date cuz of how we were together... I always told them nothing was up, till he started treating me as more than a friend... and when I told him I get scared and run when I get close to people, he says "I will follow". I said not if I go where you can't, and he said it didnt matter where I go he'd find me... I'm gone, where is he??
He said this and so much more, promises he couldnt keep.

The other, was my boyfriend for a time. He said he could see himself marrying me... I'm single and unmarried, where is he? He said this and so much more, promises he couldnt keep.

Now, I have a hard time trusting. I mean, everything romantic that could be said or done... has been. I dont feel there is anything any guy could say or do that I would trust as anything more.
I'd like to say, they've ruined it for me in every other relationship... but really, maybe I ruined it by believing them.

So, often I think maybe I'm still single because I really want to adopt and guys have been telling me they want their own... so we disagree, but maybe I'm single cuz I wont let anyone in. I mean, the two guys I ever loved the most let me down, who else will?

Everyone says "You'll find someone." "You'll move one." "The next guy will be even better." "Those guys just didnt have what you needed." "If it was meant to be it would have worked out." Etc... and maybe all thats true, but my heart doesnt believe. Logic cant win this one. My heart has never loved so hard and apparently the harder you love, the harder you fall and break... into too many little pieces, impossible to put back together so...

I am shattered.