Lost confidence

So, my last relationship really broke me... I mean BROKE me. Like I've been slowly healing, putting pieces back together, refinding myself, like really using alot of prayer and "glue" to hold myself together during the healing process. I never truly understood my feelings tho like
-Why does it hurt so bad?
-Why am I so frustrated at him still?
-Why can't I get over things and really let other guys in?
-Will I ever over come my new issues?
-Why do I have these new issues?
-Etc.

I heard on a show, this gal really got hurt by something a guy said to her. It was something that made her feel very unprotected, she has a daughter and also felt her daughter wasn't protected. And I'm not talking about physically protected, but emotionally. This guy did not protect her heart. Her emotions.
So she's on a date with a different guy and very frustrated and just sadly expresses -
"I was really upset last night, like that whole thing, broke my confidence... in all of this really, just to be honest." "I gave (so-n-so) the benefit of the doubt and I went against my judgement and it's like, what else am I missing?"

Thats me. My confidence is broken. What will I miss with the next guy. I'm to nice, I prefer to trust, but this constant trusting equals constant pain and to many ex boyfriends. I don't want another ex boyfriend, but I also don't wanna stay single all my life. I greatly desire to have a family, to be a part of a partnership, to honestly have a man be the man of the house. I desire all of it, and there was a day I felt 100% ready, or as ready as I can be without the experience. I had taken years of being single and really spent time getting to know myself, God, and learning my path in life. Then... it took one guy to destroy my confidence and set me back.
I had never trusted any guy as much as I did him, I had never given so much of myself to any guy till him, I really put myself and my heart out there. And my heart and self got hurt soooo bad. I know everything happens for a reason and God never gives us more than we can handle but... why did I have to put up with his scheming manipulative dishonest female controlling ways?
Why did I have to put up with all the catty manipulative ex's that weren't over him?
Why hadn't he cut the ties with them to begin with?
Why was he still so close to them and lie to me about it?
Then when I did start learning stuff, why didn't I blame him?
Why did I fight for him?
What, no WHO was I even fighting for?

I prayed so hard, so much, got counseling from leaders in the church, like really put everything on the table... and felt thats where I was suppose to be. It wasn't till after the break up that the leaders counseling me said they never saw it working out... why didn't they tell me sooner? Maybe they thought I needed to work it out for myself, but I really wish someone had said something because I honestly thought I was fighting for the man of my life. We had talked about marriage and our goals, he said I was the first girl he saw himself marrying... I wonder if that was true?... anyway, it became real, like I wanted to honestly figure things out, and so I walked forward like we were gonna marry. I knew what that required of me, so I fought for the relationship against anything that could break it... but him losing all of his ex's who also made up more than 1/2 of his friends, well I was no longer enough. He was so used to having them all. I couldn't understand and in our last weeks we fought sooo bad. I was no longer fighting for him, I was fighting against him. It hurt.
It hurt that he couldn't see how much everything was hurting me, how much I had sacrificed and compromised. How much I caved in to what he wanted, did what he wanted, became what he wanted... and lost myself. I really felt if you loved someone that much, that doing all those things was worth it. That it was I was called to do. I loved God so much that I gave up ALOT of who I was... but I exchanged it for something better... and thats honestly what I thought I was doing in this relationship... exchanging for something better.

So much time, energy, effort... and it broke me. I've lost all confidence in guys, that the right one is out there, that he'll actually protect my heart. I don't literally need a knight in shining armor, but I do need someone who will protect my heart, my emotions, my mind. And if he needs to physically, he'd do that to.

My heart is so fragile and I never really knew it cuz I had practiced to perfection how to protect it myself, then I trusted someone else to and they didn't. So how can I trust that any guy can?

Its taken me sooo long to even heal a little, and almost double the time of the relationship to even move on from him and become interested in other guys. I don't wanna go thru this again.

How can I gain my confidence back?